May
2014
Gamemakers Enter the Games
My duty, as the Gamemaker, is to keep the Games entertaining. However, this is just a more pleasant way of saying that I need to make sure people die. If I fail at this, I will be killed. I don’t necessarily enjoy murdering children, but the Capitol enjoys watching me murder them. If the Capitol gets pleasure from witnessing kids die, then so be it.
Recently, nobody had been killed and none of the tributes were thinking offensively. As a result, I was strongly suggested to take matters into my own hands. The only thing that I had to decide was who to kill and how. I reminded myself to go big or go home, and since home wasn’t really an option, I went over the top. When a tsunami came to my mind, I thought it was a perfect way to shock everyone. Unfortunately, the alliance by the beach became the targets of this attack. My hands began to sweat with guilt once I ordered for a tsunami to be made. However, there was no going back after I pushed the bottom that sent it to the arena.
4rileyp
May 28, 2014 at 1:24 pm (10 years ago)I think that you could have made this in the present tense in order to use more figurative language and sensory details. This was a well-written piece, but could’ve been drawn out more. There were also some grammatical errors such as saying “bottom” instead of button. You could have described the tsunami and what happened as a result of it and how you felt afterwards.
4joshe
May 28, 2014 at 1:30 pm (10 years ago)I completely agree with Riley: it was bland. It seems as if you are just plopping in sentences, instead of really taking the time to elaborate and improve the story you have in front of you. It seems almost rushed, being that it was short and not very descriptive. I did like the fact, however that you were upfront with the explanation of the games from the Gamemakers’ point of view. (I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR COMMENTERS, I JUST FINISHED MINE.)
4dawson
May 28, 2014 at 1:31 pm (10 years ago)I liked how you chose the view of a gamemaker and how you thought about it. I thought you could’ve gone more in depth about the characteristics of the tsunami like; was it water, or poison water. Were there animals in the tsunami, or was it an average tsunami. Also you should proof read because you wrote bottom in the last sentence instead of button. Other than that well written.
4lizzyt
May 28, 2014 at 1:43 pm (10 years ago)I thought this was well written but it was a little short. I think you could’ve added a little more detail but other than that, it was fun to red:) I enjoyed this sentence because it really showed the dangers of the being a gamemaker: However, this is just a more pleasant way of saying that I need to make sure people die. If I fail at this, I will be killed.